Losing the baby weight - 1 month post partum

Starting from a pre pregnancy weight of 118lbs and being a size 3/5, my body now is not ideal. I unfortunately am not one of those " I am women, hear me roar " types. I can't look in the mirror and be okay with the size I am. All of those blog posts you see about women being proud of their stretch marks and flabby skin that hangs over their jeans, they are completely fine with the body they have now. Which is great, I'm not hating. Me? No way.

1. I have always been kinda small and kinda in shape.
2. I don't see how having 20+ excess weight is healthy. It's not.
3. I could never be confident and feel good, let alone feel hot. I never want to give up and let myself go just because " I'm a mom, and I'm busy ". I want my husband to be proud of how I look and I want him to be attracted to me. Now some of you may not agree with my view on this and that's fine. I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to feel attractive for someone else. Why not strive to be better and want more? Why not work hard so you can say that you're in the best shape of your life and be a mom? Why not strive to be a milf? I read so many blogs about women saying stuff about their stretch marks or loose skin or their hair, any other women comment saying " oh your a mom now" as to have that be an excuse ? That bothers me.

So now 5 weeks after giving birth I weigh 135 and I just bought size 9 jeans the other day. Note to self, shopping blows now. Your body is so different now. Its a completely different shape and everything that use to look good now just looks awkward. I will admit that there has been some tears shed in the fitting room. I honestly don't know if I will get back to my pre pregnancy body. I now have bigger hips and thighs that came out of nowhere, and boobs, which I'm not mad about. Hourglass figure? Sign me up! What I'm going to be working on is the stomach and arms mainly. Oh and the butt :) I just want to tone everything and lose fat where I need to. Not be stick thin, just be healthy and in shape. I want to try on clothes without needing a shot of tequila afterwards.

THE PLAN

I'm pretty sure I am going to start with a Jillian Michaels workout.  30 day shred is what I am going to start with. Then move to Ripped in 20, also a Jillian. Her killer buns and thighs is a great workout to add in. It's intense and you will feel so sore the next day. Like hurts to move sore. But it works really well! I'm going to build back up to Insanity, since there is no point to try it anytime soon. Corbin loves going on walks so I will continue to do that every day.

THE FOOD

Not peanut butter and jelly sandwiches everyday with side of cheetos...that's been the diet lately. Easy and quick. I'm going to have to make the time to prep my meals and lay off the sweet tea. Uhg torture! Also since I'm breastfeeding I need to add more protein and calcium to my diet. Since Corbin has tummy issues anything gassy, super acidic and milk based I have to stay away from.  So that adds another task.

Pictures will be on my 2 month update. Before and afters. Oh boy !!